A Do Nothing Day

Being a mom is harder some days more than others.

Lest some say things like "it's the most rewarding job ever" let it be known that I absolutely agree.

However, it doesn't change the fact that some days it's harder than others.

From the moment our children are born we are teaching. Teaching with a touch, a look, a smell, a met need.

As they become mobile, the word "no" enters their world. With my eldest, I remember reading somewhere that it was a good idea to write "no" on index cards and tape them anywhere that she shouldn't be. She would quickly learn that the written "no" meant she shouldn't go there and she didn't have to hear it. I still remember my own mom chuckling at that.

It actually worked with Sara, but not my youngest. She was a born negotiator. Always pushing. Always trying to talk her way into or out of something.

We're standing in the kitchen one day and I'm bustling around getting dinner ready before having to be somewhere and gave her a chore to do. Involved in her own world, she proceeded to discuss it with me. The discussion quickly escalated until I finally blurted ...

"Jayme, you are 3. I am NOT going to argue with a 3-year-old."

As the years went by with each of the girls, I kept true to my desire to never say "because I said so" as I had heard so many times in my own growing-up years. In order to stay on that course, what should have been simple instructions carried an explanation of "why" feeling a knowledge of why would help them make the right decisions presented with a similar scenario in the future.

I pride myself in my amazing daughters. Yep! I had a part in all that they are today.

So when a decision is made that I know is wrong ... stepping back to watch it unfold is one of the most difficult "do nothings" ever. There's a sadness that overpowers me. Finding a way to offer guidance without intruding ... a gentler version of "no" ... is it possible without shutting the door?

I just want to scream "NO!" all the while knowing it won't matter. Life must unfold. Their life, their lessons, their path. 

Jim: "Whatcha wanna do today?"
Me: "Nothing."

And so I thought cuz that was the frame of mind I was in.

To stop my mind from worrying I paid bills, reworked the month's budget, spent time cleaning the room above the garage, watched a movie, wrote this blog post, did laundry and started dinner. A rather productive do-nothing day.

Perhaps there's hope that my worries will have a happy ending after all.